MURAL “THE GIRL” BY MERCY
“In the dark recesses of the mind, a disease known as fear feasts upon the souls of those who cannot overcome its power…”
– Pat McHale –
This is the story behind the wall. The story that tells my 2020 project and maybe the biggest of my life. A project that seemed impossible but it here it is. The complete text will be done soon, when I gather the strength to materialize it on paper. I’m going to do it like Tarantino, with some chapters. Why? Well, because I like Tarantino and because this is my movie. Furthermore, who knows if it’s the only time I will do something like this in my life. Better enjoy it!
CHAPTER ONE: The meeting
All this started beginning 2020 or maybe end of 2019, I don’t remember exactly. What I do remember is that I met THE GIRL (who is now my muse) on the early days of January 2020. We had a really nice first encounter and since the starting point I felt really good connection. And here is where everything begun. On our way back to the train station something happened, and I immediately told to myself “Oh boy, you’re going to fall in love with this girl and she’s going to make you suffer… make you suffer a lot. And there’s nothing you can do.” My close friends know one of my sayings, maybe the one leading my instinct and the one I always says when something bad I predicted happens, something I actually realized I do a lot: “I hate so much always being right”.
CHAPTER TWO: The ecstasy
Everything was wonderful, we had an amazing bond. We were speaking nonstop on WhatsApp, every day, every hour, even until 5 in the morning. It was genuinely fantastic. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. We share so many things in common: the music, the movies, the games, the education and a long etc. Also, our origins and background are quite similar if you manage to look the bigger picture. But the most important of all, she challenged me at an intellectual level. She could read me like an open book. Not a lot of people can do that. I see myself in her, an early stage of my life, an early version of my person. That made the link even stronger.
Anyway, I find necessary to mention this right now: At some point she told me that she didn’t wanted anything serious or a relationship. “Wrong timing”, she always said. That’s true, but as we kept meeting, this became something blurry and not certain anymore. Her behavior and words pointed to the other direction. However, who’s going to quit when you have such an opportunity, when you can be standing in front of the woman of your life? Just go for it. I’m not here to quit, no. My parents didn’t teach me that. I’m a fighter, I never quit. That being said, everything was going smooth as hell, but of course the dark clouds were about to come.
CHAPTER THREE: The fall
After a couple months meeting, she had a vacation trip for a couple of weeks. We saw each other a lot during this last week. Then, a couple of days before she was taking the plane, we had some food and laughs together. I still remember it as if it was today… I kissed her goodbye and then the voice came again: “Enjoy this last kiss, since it’s going to be the last one”. I hate so much always being right. Until the present day, I never kissed her again.
Then, it was Corona, and the pandemics. That didn’t help at all. A lot of events happened and we eventually lost having so much contact, and little by little to none right now. That was hell. I’ve suffered from love sometimes in the past. That made me think that I was protected and mature, but I was wrong. I believe this was the time I’ve struggled the more. Maybe because it’s the first time my mind and my heart are working on the same direction. Weird right? When this happens, you can only listen. I was falling into a hole and I didn’t know what to do.